This file is one of the Wolfstone archives of the Halloween mailing lists. You can find out more, and reach the entire collection here: http://www.pobox.com/~wolfstone/_r/HalloweenArchive.html This particular archive deals with "tombstone" topics. This includes: o construction tips and techniques o epitaphs It does NOT include related topics: o styrofoam - - - - - Subject: HyperTurf Tombstones? From: Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 06:28:15 EST Me again.. Now that my intros are out of the way, I have a question. Has anyone played around with Hyperturf recipes in regards to tombstones? I stumbled onto a description of this stuff at a garden pond site, and = found that most any search engine will give hundreds of decent hits with the = word 'hyperturf'. Apparently, it's an economical way to make faux rock material for = gardening or sculpture. It looks like it's actual granite, or lava rock, or whatever rock you = want, depending on concrete dye and texture treatment! From what I can tell, there are dozens of different recipes for this = stuff. Most call for 1 part Portland cement, 1 part Mason's sand, and 1 part filtered peat moss. That's mixed dry, then water is added slowly until a cookie dough texture is achieved. This stuff can be left smooth, textured with a wire brush or carved while curing. You can dremel it once it's dry with no problem. The stuff is supposedly strong. People are making planting pots, = sculptures, birdbaths, stepping stones, benches and garden troughs with this = stuff...One guy even made a Japanese garden lantern. It's porous but sturdy, it doesn't crack or break down with extreme temperature changes, it's lightweight and it even attracts moss and = lichen! I keep picturing a plywood based mold with a metal 3 inch lip...2 PVC = pipes set in the base, some hyperturf being mixed...Hmmmmm!!!!! Anyone ever work with this stuff, or tried various recipes? It might be the newer, sturdier, most realistic tombstone material yet, = and talk about inexpensive, the materials needed are little more then pocketchange. ~The Spatsman - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - HyperTurf Tombstones? From: "The Brown Family" Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 10:36:29 -0700 AHA! I've found results when I search for "hypertufa" Apparently it's= called that in England...thanks so much for suggesting this, Spatsman,= it's a GREAT idea..I'm just itchin to try it out... - - - - - Subject: HYPERTUFA...I can't spell, apparently From: Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 18:26:24 EST Sorry gang, That extraordinary material that imitates rock that I mentioned as a = real viable tombstone material is called hypertufa Not Hyperturf, not hyperturfa....Not turf at all, but 'tufa' Try that and see what you find. Trust me, dozens of recipes and possibilities here. - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - HYPERTUFA... From: "Goblin" Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 08:36:21 -0800 I found a few recipies, I will have to give them a try before I can tell = if they are decent or not :-) I found the same page that Keeba did = but it was stuck in a frame on a totaly different web site. Makes me think = that the recipies listed are pretty much the standard I figured I would start with the basic, 1 part cement, 1 part sand, 2 parts peat Then I would give this one a try, 1 part cement, 1 part peat, 1 part vermiculite Keep your fingers crossed, if it goes well I will have found my way around = the hubbys only complaint about me wanting to do cemenmt tombstones (ie they are to = heavy) I have wanted to do the cement stones for a long time but couldnt convince = Asmodeus that a tombstone that can crush your foot is a good thing to have around the = house. - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - HYPERTUFA...I can't spell, apparently From: Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 14:54:38 EST In a message dated 3/26/01 7:42:35 AM Central Standard Time, ghostly@totacc.com writes: << DP, You're right, foam is easier in many ways. I'm mainly looking at the = 'tufa as a way to make things look more stoney than foam and for ways to make lightweight materials for covering things like artifical caves. I hope = this works, because it would be much easier for me to haul around a cavern = built with chicken wire and 'tufa than paper mache. Not to mention the fact that = paper mache isn't terribly sturdy for the most part. We'll see what happens and I'll be sure and post the stuff to the list. m EvilEej >> Evil, Heads up.. Just spoke with a gentleman who makes pots, birdbaths and benches out = of hypertufa. I told him what I had in mind, here were his suggestions. Try and keep it 3 inches thick, no more, and use metal conduit instead of = PVC pipe for stake supports in the base. The higher into the tombstone these metal conduits reach, the better. Saw any shape to the edge you want and texture with a wire brush after = about 4 days of curing, then let it dry and cure completely...give it about = 2weeks to a month. After that, you should have a tombstone that is lighter then concrete but will survive most anything, save a hit with a sledge hammer. He reminded me that moss will darken during that last month to very aged look, and we should get a piece that looks windblown and rainworn. He also reminded me to mention that wide array of concrete dyes available = out there, and how spritzing a little beer on your tombstone encourages moss = and lichen. - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - Molds, or carve... was Hypertufa From: Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 21:43:36 EST In a message dated 3/26/01 8:04:38 PM Central Standard Time, jwn@aa.net writes: << So... did I miss something? This wonder product sounds great, but how = do you create the shape? How do you carve epitaphs (assuming you want some)? How much would a completed stone weigh (say 2ft. wide by 3ft. high by 3in. thick)? Is a mold a requirement (sounds like it is)? How do you go about building the mold? What kind of materials (cost, time to build, workability) are = we talking about? What kind of releasing agent (if any) would you need? Give me foam, or give me (preferably somebody else's) death! ;^) Curious minds DO want to know. >> First off, the shape. Hypertufa is pour and pressed by hand (wear gloves) into a rectangular = form for a tombstone. Most gardeners use cartons, with the edges supported by bricks. It 'cures' for about 4 days, with occasional sprinkling with = water, about once a day. After the fourth day, you texture with wire brushes and = saw the edges into whatever shape you want, just like a foamboard. Then you = let it fully dry, for about 2-4 weeks. It weighs about 1/2 as much as pure concrete. As for carving the face with designs and epitaphs, you can dremel to your heart's content. You can also do carving during the curing process, when = the hyperturf will take a fingernail impression. No releasing agent is needed. As for affordability, I covered that in an earlier post, but suffice to = say that Portland concrete, moss and Mason's sand are all VERY affordable. If you wish, you can add other materials depending on the recipe you use...there are a lot of recipes out there. None of these are expensive at = all. When compared to the price of foamboard, it's reasonably cheap. It also = gives a sturdier, more realistic product. This info is available at a number of sites. Dig through some search = engines under 'hypertufa'. .... It's just an option I felt deserved some looking at. - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - HYPERTUFA... From: "Steve Rose" Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 21:26:49 -0800 (PST) I've seen the second recipe used at a workshop here in KC at the county garden show last year (1-part cement, 1-part peat & 1-part vermiculite). The results definitely gave a look of an old, weathered rock, such as one you'd find on a verrrry old tombstone. --- Goblin wrote: > I found a few recipies, I will have to give them a > try before I can tell if they are > decent or not :-) > > I found the same page that Keeba did > but > it was stuck in a frame on a totaly different web > site. Makes me think that the > recipies listed are pretty much the standard > > I figured I would start with the basic, > 1 part cement, 1 part sand, 2 parts peat > Then I would give this one a try, > 1 part cement, 1 part peat, 1 part vermiculite > > Keep your fingers crossed, if it goes well I will > have found my way around the hubbys > only complaint about me wanting to do cemenmt > tombstones (ie they are to heavy) I > have wanted to do the cement stones for a long time > but couldnt convince Asmodeus that > a tombstone that can crush your foot is a good thing > to have around the house. - - - - - Subject: HYPERTUFA...Now we wait From: "Goblin" Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 10:37:57 -0800 Ok ladies and germs I did it. Now we let it set for a while and see what = we get. I did a tombstone cross and layed in chicken wire for support. I also ran = a piece of PVC up the center so I have a way to stand it up. I carved the form into the ground (here the ground is hard and makes a = great form (well if you have the energy to dig it up that is)) I lined it with = plastic garbage bags. Should work just fine (I hope :-) Suggestion, Wear gloves or you'll be in serious need of some hand lotion. This stuff = dries your hands out right now! Get a wheel barrow!!! Mixing this stuff in a bucket or tub (even a large = one) is nooooo fun. It caused me to run short of the mix and my tombstone is going = to be a bit thin I think. I am not to worried though as this is a test piece. Even if it is to thin = I will still be able to get an idea of weight and usefullness. I will keep you all updated on how this goes. - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: Carving epitaphs From: "Mad Doctor Scott" Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2001 11:59:06 -0700 (PDT) I can't stand it anymore! Why would you CARVE a styrofoam tombstone (?), when you can put a template over it, and spray it with: *** Mad Doctor Scott's Secret Formula! (TM)*** At art supply stores you can find a spray fixative that is used for protecting charcoal drawings. This stuff is PERFECT for etching styrofoam, using a paper template to protect the areas of foam that you don't want eaten away. You won't believe the excellent results you can get with this, and with very little mess (overspray). Make sure you do it outdoors, as the foam releases toxic byproducts as it melts. MWAHAHAHAHAA! (evil doctor laugh), Mad Doctor Scott --- ScottM2251 at aol.com wrote: > I've had this idea in my brain that just won't go > away. > > What if you could stamp epitaphs (and other > designs) on styrofoam tombstones with latex paint, > then use spray paint to melt the foam that wasn't > prtected by the latex paint. This would result in > raised epitaphs and designs. > > Conversely, you could lay stencils on the tombstone > and spray paint over them, which would result in > recessed epitaphs and designs. > > I'm imagining having a box full of letter stamps in > different sizes and fonts, with a method of > stringing them together. Also included are some > tombstone header designs (angel of death, skeletons, > etc). Then throw in a narrow paint roller with > different designs for borders, or some narrow > masking tape for straight lines. > > Then... Cut your tombstone shape, write your epitaph > and stamp it out, stamp the header design, roll the > border, and spray the whole thing with gray spray > paint! > One tombstone done in 30 mintues! - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: Lighten up on the permanent tombstones From: "Thanatoz" Date: Wed, 9 May 2001 10:21:53 -0700 (PDT) --- Sue McDonald wrote: > Using perlite, vermiculite or peat moss in the > concrete recipe will > lighten your load immensely. All of these items can > be found at your > nearby garden center. > I used poly-fill to lighten the load. The stuff that goes into stuffed animals and pillows. The wife was not amused when I ran out and wanted to "borrow" some from my kids GIANT stuffed teddy....then she hid the pillows. I had to go to the craft store...::::sigh:::: some spouses just don't understand. - - - - - Subject: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 18:26:18 EDT Hi All: You know, I'm almost ashamed to ask the following question, but I'm = going to ask it anyhow. (Why? 'Cause, somewhere in the back of my mind, = I remember being told that the only stupid question is the one not asked; = ergo, the act of asking it renders it non-stupid, right? ) What dimensions do people recommend for their faux foam tombstones? I = vaguely remember reading somewhere that 24"x48" is a pretty standard = shape; that would yield four tombstones from a single slab of foam. = However, the ones we used to learn the Keeba Method (tm) while at = Ironstock 2001 seemed slightly smaller than that. A little bit of quick = math tells me that, were the 'stones 16"x32" (same proportions, just = slightly smaller 'stones) instead, the yield would be NINE 'stones. So, please, all of you faux tombstone makers out there, FESS UP! Tell = me the size of your tombstones! - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 18:34:04 EDT I make tombstones of all different sizes. It gives the graveyard some personality. - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: "Rene Thurston" Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 20:57:06 -0400 We cut them 24 x 48 and then cut THOSE pieces into various shapes ~ we = even broke one in half by accident and ended up making one for a guy run over = by a steam roller. The FUN is in shaping the piece. I used templates from (site?? Hmmm..can't remember which site I got those from now!!), but I found I had more fun just being creative with the ol' electric carving knife on my own. - - - - - Subject: Re: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: "Keeba" Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 20:26:44 -0500 I get 9 16x32 tombstones from a sheet of foam (4'x8' sheet) or 6 32x24 tombstones. Of course, less if I make a "bottom" like on Krazy Karens = stone. - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: "LeAnna Reardon" Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 19:45:04 -0700 (PDT) Man that really depends on the stone. I have some 8 feet tall, some 2 = feet tall ... some 2 inches wide, some 4 feet wide. My pride and joy in = tombstones is Alice = http://www.sometrails.com/halloween/images/2001/alice/alice-black-small.jpg= She took 1 1/2 sheets to make. WebMistress --- ChilliTNG at aol.com > wrote: > What dimensions do people recommend for their faux foam tombstones? = I vaguely remember reading somewhere that 24"x48" is a pretty standard = shape; - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: REALLY Stupid Faux Tombstone Question From: "Upier" Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 23:36:52 -0700 (PDT) The ones at Ironstock where 16x32x2in thick. You get 9 out of a block of foam. I had never used this dimension before, but it's the one that Keeba requested. Most of my tombstones started at 24x32 (yielding 6 per sheet). I know it doesn't sound like much of a difference, but it gives you a wider, squarer tombstone. Do both, for variety!! - - - - - Subject: Tombstone From: "Webmonster of Goblinville" Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 14:30:06 -0700 I'll share with you an idea I had the other day that I'm going to try to knock out in the next couple of weeks. Pix from Disneyland from friends gave me the idea. I can dig up the pic if anyone wants to see it - email me off list. On one of the outside fences, instead of the original plain-old wall, they now have it to look like mausoleum vaults - marked off in blocks with an epitaph or name on each one. It would be really easy to do - a 2' wide sheet of foam marked off in blocks in 4 or 5 blocks high. And to make it quick & easy to change, my idea would be to carve an 8-1/2 x 11 x 1/4-1/2" deep "plaque" with the Dremel and just run off epitaphs, names, whatever on the printer on gray paper or one of the papers that looks like marble or stone. Easy to store (garage rafters), quick to set-up (up against a wall of the house or garage or garage door) and take down, and relatively quick & easy to make. Has anyone done something along these lines before? Any tips before I plunge in? I'll keep you apprised as I do the project and will post it to my website eventually I suppose. - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES From: "brandon champlin" Date: Thu, 26 Jul 2001 22:49:35 -0500 I use Ravenscroft, Rudlesburgh, and Ruben. These are fairly easy to cut = out and are great looking on stone with an elegant look. you can find them at htttp://www.grimghosts.com and enter the site, then go to the downloads graveyard. If you only have a year to live, move to Hardin Illionis. Every day seems like an eternity >From: "dawn rice" >Reply-To: "Halloween List" >To: "Halloween List" >Subject: Hall: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES >Date: Thu, 26 Jul 2001 22:33:32 -0500 > >OK, >What fonts look and work (cut out the best) for the tombstones. I've >checked out some of the cool fonts, but what do most people use on their >stones. - - - - - Subject: Re: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES From: "Keeba" Date: Thu, 26 Jul 2001 23:11:28 -0500 I use Caslon Antique, Olde English, Wedding Text and Abaddon quite alot. - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES From: Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 12:52:25 EDT I use the Garamond font on my tombstones at = http://members.aol.com/Smessin983/Halloween/Halloween.html - - - - - Subject: RE: Hall: Re: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES From: "Webgoblin of Goblinville" Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 19:42:50 -0700 Whatever size fits the tombstone the best, and whichever style goes best with the tombstone is how I do it. Something simple & rustic looking - Caslon. Something more detailed, ornate, "fancy" - Old English or Frankenstein. Totally up to your imagination. -----Original Message----- From: Halloween-L at WildRice.com [mailto:Halloween-L at WildRice.com] On Behalf Of wilomena Sent: Friday, July 27, 2001 08:56 PM To: Halloween List Subject: RE: Hall: Re: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES okay, but what size??? wilo Blood detected. Run VAMPIRE.BAT? (Y/N) -----Original Message----- From: Halloween-L at WildRice.com [mailto:Halloween-L at WildRice.com]On Behalf Of Keeba Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2001 9:11 PM To: Halloween List Subject: Hall: Re: FONTS FOR TOMBSTONES I use Caslon Antique, Olde English, Wedding Text and Abaddon quite alot. - - - - - Subject: Oh boy..another ebay goodies From: "Iron Kingdom" Date: Sun, 29 Jul 2001 23:11:29 -0400 Okay, our Tombstone Queen has a few nifties on ebay now...SO, go bid right now, bid high and bid often. Love Keeba Worship Keeba..buy Keeba stones so she can acquire an animated Annie! No really guys this is a great chance to get an original stone from the Goddess. Lady Iron http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3D1172714025 http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3D1172709115 - - - - - Subject: Re: Howl - another great ebay find From: "Joli Forth" Date: Sun, 29 Jul 2001 21:47:33 -0700 Thanks for sharing with us yet another place to spend money - but this is better than most since we e-know the Keeba of stones. Speaking of stones, in re-reading a mystery novel I uncovered his and hers tombstones "One said: SHOT BY HER DEAR HUSBAND. The other said: HANGED FOR KILING HIS WIFE." Toadling - - - - - Subject: RE: Hall: New Epitaphs From: "Webgoblin of Goblinville" Date: Sun, 29 Jul 2001 21:43:37 -0700 I've got a bunch on my website Mike the Webgoblin http://www.goblinville.com - - - - - Subject: Epitaph From: "Sue McDonald" Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2001 07:27:44 -0700 I tried to find the email sent here recently of an epitaph that I considered pretty good but to no avail so if you sent it to the list...thanks. Someone wrote: Phil Dirt I was thinking that this tombstone could have a hard hat sitting on it or better yet a hard hat and shovel. - - - - - Subject: Getting some Dough at Michaels From: "Sue McDonald" Date: Wed, 01 Aug 2001 13:38:38 -0700 No...we are not talking about money. Today I had to take my husband on a funeral clothes shopping trip. His mother died on monday and he is going to her funeral. Anyway, I did talk him into going into Michaels on the ruse of finding paints for the airbrush kit. I just happened to meander through the modeling clay section and found the 3 lb tubs of the regular dough on clearance which was $3.50 for the 3 lb pail and got an additional 30% off the clearance price which took the price down to $2.45 each. I know that it is not the model magic that Keeba uses. What I was intending to do with this material is PRACTICE...lol. But then the question comes to my mind..."What is the difference between the dough and the model magic?" - - - - - Subject: Magic VS Dough From: "Sue McDonald" Date: Wed, 01 Aug 2001 17:34:09 -0700 Well, I opened the lid to the dough and even though it has been several decades since I seriously delved into clay magic, this stuff seems quite lightweight. Of course I had to play with it and I remember the clay being heavier, stiffer and it took a little bit of effort to roll it. This stuff was light, overly pliable (wish this was the case with my husband) and little if any energy expended to roll it into a ball or 'worm'. It says on the label that it will air dry so does that mean it could be used as...modeling clay and Halloween props. And where the heck are the 40% off coupons at Michaels. I drug the old man there thinking I would get some more pumpkins but no coupons. Sue P.S. I think that my husband was totally fascinated with the women in the Michaels. He had to keep slipping up to me and pointing women out and telling me what they were doing. He told me that one woman walked up to another and asked "Are you finished being mad?" I just told him that women can do that without an all out cat brawl. - - - - - Subject: Re: Magic VS Dough From: "Keeba" Date: Wed, 1 Aug 2001 20:52:47 -0500 Yeah, the Crayola Model Magic is REALLY pliable (when fresh out of the = bag) and it air dries into a kind of...I dunno how to say--lightweight foam? - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: Re: Magic VS Dough From: "Sue McDonald" Date: Wed, 01 Aug 2001 20:07:12 -0700 I guess I am just going to have to get a baggie of the Model Magic and compare it with the stuff in the container. I just got finished smushing it before dinner...no it was not dinner. I took one of my small halloween skull candy holders and cut off the back so I had just the face half. I figured I would try once without any powder in the mold to see what happened. Well, this stuff DIDN'T stick for the five times I used the mold so I must be doing something wrong. Now I think I am going to be overly excited trying to find stuff to use for molds. Great another Halloween addiction gone awry. Sue Keeba wrote: > > Yeah, the Crayola Model Magic is REALLY pliable (when fresh out of the = bag) > and it air dries into a kind of...I dunno how to say--lightweight foam? - - - - - Subject: RE: Hall: Stone Fate? From: "Andrew & Rose-Ellen Eastman" Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 11:32:01 -0400 Oh my goodness..why take a chance....destroy them...destroy them quickly! Halloween Queen -----Original Message----- Subject: Hall: Stone Fate?(long) From: Date: Fri, 3 Aug 2001 21:13:28 EDT Has anybody ever done and epitaph on a stone and had it come true? 2 weeks ago i made a simple stone and put Beloved Bob on it. No perticular = reason, I just thought B's looked cool in the Burton font. At work for about the past 4 months we have had this "pet" raccoon that = was named Bob (he just looked like a Bob), he would pick up scraps late at = night from the snack bar grounds and trash, very nice and fat. Today as i pulled into work, there lie Bob in the road,deader than stone. Upset about this? You bet, Bob was cool, followed me around as locked = things up, hung out for leftovers, gave me a smile every night before i left, knowing full well i was going to be cleaning up all the cans he knocked = over after i left for the night. But even more than upset of the death is the = fact that days after making the Bob stone, I made the Oomp and Mrs Oomp = stone. Karma? Prophecy? Coinkydence? Would you destroy your own stone? ( oh ya and the wifes also) - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: just wanted to share my progress From: "WebMistress" Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2001 18:26:39 -0700 (PDT) That is how I filled my cemetery. People can't read them ... so keep them = for next year ... ad epitaphs later and rotate them to the front next year = and make more blank ones next year ... do this over a few years and you'll = have lots of epitaphs and stones :) Webby --- "dawn rice" > wrote: >Well, since my hubby was not as excited about my almost completed >tombstones, I thought I'd share with the group. >I have 5 tomstones carved and ready for painting. Now I just need to = cave >at least another 10 - 15 more and my cemetary will be complete. I'm >thinking I may just do the shapes and skip epitaphs on some of them since >the cemetary will be fenced off and since people probably won't be able = to >read the back ones. Do you guys think this is a bad idea? (to just cut = out >the frames on most of them). - - - - - Subject: RE: Hall: just wanted to share my progress From: Date: Thu, 9 Aug 2001 11:31:47 -0700 What I did on some of mine last year when I ran out of time was type them up on the computer, print them out and then run them through the copier onto transparency film (Office Max had a close-out last summer so I got 3 boxes for $1.99 each - they're normally more like $25 a box. --- "dawn rice" > wrote: >Well, since my hubby was not as excited about my almost completed >tombstones, I thought I'd share with the group. I have 5 tomstones >carved and ready for painting. Now I just need to cave at least >another 10 - 15 more and my cemetary will be complete. I'm thinking I >may just do the shapes and skip epitaphs on some of them since the >cemetary will be fenced off and since people probably won't be able to >read the back ones. Do you guys think this is a bad idea? (to just cut >out the frames on most of them). - - - - - Subject: Re: Hall: Re: Epitaphs From: "Dennis Griesser" Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2001 21:52:22 -0700 >I just put up a list on my site that I collected a few years ago on >Halloween-L. I have no idea who submitted what, but it might be helpful = to >you. Go to: http://www.cowlacious.com/Epitaphs.htm I have a list on my web site, too: - - - - - Subject: Halloween is coming/Epitaphs from real tombstones: From: "Aileen Wedeking" Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2001 23:08:36 -0500 Here are some funny epitaphs from real tombstones: Time to start making them On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Herel ies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young. In a London, England cemetery: Ann Mann Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: Sacred to the memory of myhusband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont: I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours. Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in = the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More. In a Georgia cemetery: "I told you I was sick!" John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader if cash thou art In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny. On Margaret Daniels' grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia: She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie: Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go. More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England: Gone away Owin' more Than he could pay. Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood: In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid" Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. But does he make house calls? Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas: Office upstairs - - - - -