This file is one of the Wolfstone archives of the Halloween mailing lists. You can find out more, and reach the entire collection here: http://www.pobox.com/~wolfstone/_r/HalloweenArchive.html This is a copy of Don Bertino's archive from http://www.calweb.com/~bertino/halloween.html on the subject of "tombstones". Minor changes have been made, mostly removal of E-mail headers and signatures, but the germane content is unchanged. - - Date: Wed, 27 Sep 1995 08:52:20 -0700 From: milwiron at ix.netcom.com (D.D. ) Subject: Stupid Headstone Names Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. Any others? Denny Justin Tyme Yetta Nother Barry A. Live Dawn Under Ted N. Buried Yul B. Next Bill M. Lader Lefty B. Hynde Kerry M. Off Fester N. Rott Reid N. Weep Sue D'Bum Jess Gough Barry M. Deep - - From: "D. Joseph Creighton" Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names Date: Wed, 27 Sep 1995 12:30:48 -0500 (CDT) In the last exciting episode, D.D. wrote: } Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. } Any others? Denny Ah, finally! A topic I can contribute to. :) Besides those tombstones on each of the opening sequences to halloween episodes of The Simpson's... Elvis - live with it A balanced budget etc. ... here are a couple I dug up from memory (the first of which I invented in honour of my [still living] wife, Laurie :) --- Here lies my wife, I bid her goodbye. She rests in peace and now so do I. --- Here lies Henry Blake -+- He stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. - - Date: Wed, 27 Sep 1995 12:46:06 -0700 (PDT) From: Don Bertino Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names On Wed, 27 Sep 1995, D.D. wrote: > Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. > Any others? Denny Great ideas!! [From my Haunted Mansion FAQ] Here is a complete list of WDW's Haunted Mansion tombstones, and in some cases, which Imagineer they reference to. RIP GOOD FRIEND GORDON now you've crossed the river jordan RIP in memorium uncle myall HERE YOU'LL REST FOR QUITE A WHILE (Chuck Myall - Art Director) REST IN PEACE COUSIN HUET we all know you didn't do it HERE RESTS WATHEL R. BENDER he rode to glory on a fender (Wathel Rodgers - illusionist, mechanical genius) HERE LIES GOOD OLD FRED a great big rock fell on his head AT PEACEFUL REST LIES BROTHER CLAUDE planted here beneath this sod (Claude Coates - Art Director, Master of Paint Effects and Lighting) RIP MR. SEWELL the victim of a dirty duel (Ted(?) Sewell - Engineer/Draughtsman(?)) IN MEMORY OF OUR PATRIARCH dear departed grandpa marc (Marc Davis illustrator, idea man, funniest Imagineer) REQUIESCAT FRANCIS XAVIER no time off for good behavior RIP (Xavier Atencio - scriptwriter, and lyricist, Grim Grinning Ghosts DEAR DEPARTED BROTHER DAVE he chased a bear into a cave MASTER GRACEY LAID TO REST no mourning please at his request (Yale Gracey - illusionist) HERE LIES A MAN NAMED MARTIN the lights went out on this old spartan - - Date: Thu, 28 Sep 1995 11:01:29 -0700 From: Devlyn.Syde at Evermore.com (Devlyn Syde) Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names >Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. >Any others? Denny As long as we are doing humorous epitaphs in general ... Anyone else been around computers long enough to remember the old IBM punch cards that bore the warning "Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate?" Here his body lies moudling, His dying was hard. They shot him for folding An IBM card ... Then there are the classics (these are from REAL graves): Here lies John Yeast, Pardon him for not rising. Here I lie And no wonder I'm dead, For the wheel of a semi Went over my head. Here lies Lester More. No Les no more ... I may have visited too many graveyards ... - - From: "BHendrsn at kirk.microsys.net" Date: Fri, 29 Sep 1995 12:12:05 +0000 Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names > From: Devlyn.Syde at Evermore.com (Devlyn Syde) > Anyone else been around computers long enough to remember the old > IBM punch cards that bore the warning "Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate?" Remember 'em? I've got an old punchcard reader sitting out in the garage! ;) > Then there are the classics (these are from REAL graves): There is a book out there (the name of which escapes me) of epitaphs from real graves. It should be in most bookstores in the humor section. - - From: RoboJay at aol.com Date: Sat, 30 Sep 1995 19:44:51 -0400 Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names And here are some stupid epitaphs I thought up: CHEVY CHASE I'm Dead And You're Not C3PO (or RoboCop, etc.) Rust In peace JOHN CHEVY Here I Lie Like A Rock KAREN CARPENTER [no epitaph - put on a very skinny headstone] JOE BLOWHARD Politician Lying As Much As Ever If I remember any more (I can't find the blooming things) I'll post 'em. - - Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 07:53:16 -0700 (PDT) From: Don Bertino Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names On Wed, 27 Sep 1995, D.D. wrote: Hi Denny! > Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. > Any others? [great list deleted] Yes, I dug mine out and am doing a repaint job. Here are some more: U. R. Gone Otta B. Alive Mummy B. Ware Berry D. Hatchet Wil B. Back R. U. Next Dr. Izzy Gone Emma Ghost M. T. Tomb "It's being to feel alot like Chrismas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H Halloween...." ;) - - Date: Thu, 28 Sep 1995 05:41:02 -0700 From: milwiron at ix.netcom.com (D.D. ) Subject: Weather-proof headstone painting Yo All, I asked on the Stagecraft newsgroups for suggestions on outdoor painting of Styrofoam to make it look like rock. Unfortunately these groups are filled with extremely talented, innovative and artistic people and the suggestions they sent me assumed I had similar talent. So I was forced to come up with my own no talent method- Materials: 1. The Styrofoam headstones you made waiting to be painted 2. Gray or grey (your choice) Outdoor, Semi-gloss Latex House Trim Paint. It's gotta be Latex Based or it'll melt the foam 3. One spray-can each of Rustoleum black, dark gray and white. Flat or semi-gloss if you can. I haven't try other brands. 4. Plastic glove for your spraying hand. Safety goggles or glasses. Paint your Styrofoam with a base-coat of the gray latex, make sure you seal the foam well. This base coat not only colors it protects the foam from being melted by the Rustoleum. While the latex is drying, pull the spray-nozzles off the valves on the spray-cans. Now using a pin or a needle and carefully pry out the little round nozzle (sometimes red) that the paint comes out off. Do not do this while the larger nozzle is still on the can!!! Gently push the larger part back onto the can with the hole pointing away from you. Wearing eye protection while you do this is an excellent idea! Now shake up those cans and put a the glove on your spraying hand because the paint will splatter some on the way out. (Your outside and wearing old clothes, right?) Stand back about two feet and spray light coats of each color on the headstone. With the little nozzle removed you'll get a very nice speckle pattern similar to those Style Stone spray kits from hardware stores but your paint job will be water proof and be a ton cheaper for large projects. You can also add some browns or beige to represent other types of "rock". - - From: TheLazer at aol.com Date: Mon, 2 Oct 1995 12:51:54 -0400 Subject: Painting Umm, someone was saying about the paint eating at the styro, well this is true. But it doenst eat too much, and it makes a nice old worn look!. I have to say that the New Version 2.0 Tombstones I made with the Foam from JoAnn Farbics looks GREAT. The stuff is all set up in the front yard and from looking at the new ones, you would swear there real! - - Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 23:53:25 -0700 From: snobuny at primenet.com (Snow Bunny) Subject: Re: Painting >Umm, someone was saying about the paint eating at the styro, well this is >true. But it doenst eat too much, and it makes a nice old worn look!. If you want a good paint that DOESNT eat at the styro use "Design Master" spray, its a floral spray that is used on EVERYTHING!!! Its perminate and wears well in wet weather (try saying that 10 times fast) =O] Plus it goes over anything, glass, plastic, latex, foam, silk flowers, etc. It really does work great! Just a Floral Designer =) *SnowBunny* - - From: Stuart_McIntire_at_AISDC at ccsmtp.uage.com Date: Wed, 27 Sep 95 16:33:48 EST Subject: Re[2]: Stupid Headstone Names Joe writes: } Ah, finally! A topic I can contribute to. ...and as a brand spanking new member to this illustrious group, I'll share my own witicisms... Here lies Vlad the Impaler ~ He bit off more than he could chew Here lies the Pillsbury Dough Boy ~ He will rise again GO HOME (accompanied w/ a bloody handprint) I also have one for Elvis - I'll write again when I remember what I had. - - From: Stuart_McIntire_at_AISDC at ccsmtp.uage.com Date: Thu, 05 Oct 95 12:15:35 EST Subject: Re[2]: Stupid Headstone Names ______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________ Subject: Re: Stupid Headstone Names Author: halloween-l at netcom.com at Internet Date: 10/5/95 11:49 AM On Wed, 27 Sep 1995, D.D. wrote: >Hi Denny! > Here's a list of stupid names to use on headstones that I came up with. > Any others? >[great list deleted] >Yes, I dug mine out and am doing a repaint job. Here are some more: >U. R. Gone >Otta B. Alive >Mummy B. Ware >Berry D. Hatchet >Wil B. Back >R. U. Next >Dr. Izzy Gone >Emma Ghost >M. T. Tomb >"It's being to feel alot like Chrismas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H Halloween...." ;) >don >bertino at netcom.com ____/^\_____________________________________ >Disney ascii art & / \ || FDC MCP || / \ >animations are at <______\ [] [] [] || [] [] [] || [] [] [] >/______> ftp.netcom.com >======\----------------||----------||----------------/=== >/pub/be/bertino========\______________||__________||______________/==== >= With a few spare minutes on my hands, I've come up with these: R.I.P. Van Winkle ~ Dracula ~ "Fangs for the Memories" Rest in Pieces (The truly demented have put the name Borden on this headstone. That's too sick even for me). Here lies dear old Brother Tor He couldn't take it anymore More, folks? - -